Relationships falter

Over years of exploration, I have realized a being that pervades all. It is none other than myself—my true self or simply consciousness—but it takes time to fully digest and integrate this wisdom into everyday life. For now, I see this presence (true self) as distinct from myself (self limited to the scope of Vijay. Ego in simple terms), much like a wave differs from the ocean. It is my eternal lover, and I surrender myself to it completely, without any filters. This has created a profound relationship with that divine being. I feel unconditional love showering from that divine being, regardless of my behavior—good, bad, or even worse—and this has allowed me to open fully to that divine being. It is my eternal lover. Some people may portray this divine being as God, but that doesn’t resonate with me—I prefer to experience it purely as a lover.

I often wonder why relationships struggle in the present world, and I believe the root cause is a lack of openness. In my case, I am relatively fully open (perhaps about 90%) with a few close friends, and those relationships thrive because they accept me as I am—their acceptance makes it easy for me to be open with them. I am like a wave, and they are like the ocean—I easily merge with them. There are a few who criticize me for everything, seeing me only from their perspective and never understanding my own, which deeply affects my confidence. In their presence, I naturally close up and become like a mountain in the the ocean, always remaining separate. There are people who exaggerate their contributions—in reality, they do little, so this boasting becomes necessary—and they undermine others (perhaps to prevent anyone from surpassing them) in order to appear impressive before others. Being around such people feels suffocating, and I naturally drift away—like a small crack in a floating piece of wood that widens over time, eventually causing the wood to break apart so each piece floats off in its own direction. I see this kind of negative patterns happening frequently among couples, causing them to lose the nectar of their relationship.

I believe acceptance is the key. Just as a divine mother accepts her children unconditionally, when we accept others as they are, they open up fully and then the possibility of truly enjoying the sweetness of relationship opens up. This acceptance must be mutual; if only one side accepts while the other does not, distance will inevitably grow. This dynamic becomes particularly complicated in marriage—when acceptance is missing, partners naturally drift apart, yet may try to stay together for reasons such as children, fear of societal judgment, or other factors. This creates tremendous pressure and often results in many unpleasant situations.

When acceptance is present on both sides, it leads naturally to openness, which then fosters a healthy, loving relationship. I have such beautiful relationships with a few people, yet none compare to the fullness I experience with my divine lover. It reminds me of old films where Ram appears when Hanuman opens his heart—except in my case, it's beyond the heart; open any part of me, and my eternal lover is visible.