Family

True love sets free, while control suffocates.

Once upon a time, I was born as a typical woman. I always tried to meet the expectations of the external world and saw it as reality. My primary goal was to appear valuable and be seen as a good person. When I got married, I hoped that my spouse and children would also be recognized and appreciated by society, so I unintentionally placed my own expectations on them. Unintentionally, I tried to mold them to fit my perspective, convinced it was the best one and always thinking I was acting in their best interest.

I used to experience immense love for them as long as they stayed within the confines of what I found comfortable in my mind. However, I would become concerned if they ventured outside of that, worrying that they might become negatively influenced. It would make me feel extremely sad and frustrated, worried about what others would think of my family, eventually leading to illness and confinement to bed for a few days. This would mean leaving home unattended, which eventually lead to put additional pressure on other family members to manage on their own. Some may believe that I am using a trick to bring them back into my path, but my illness is genuine and I remain true to myself.

When they wanted to be different and follow their hearts, I would accept it to some extent. However, I always had my own reasons to believe that extremes were dangerous, and I would try to restrict them from pursuing what their hearts desired. I feared losing them if they went down a different path that I couldn’t understand. Even if that different path could bring more joy to our lives, I couldn’t accept it because it was uncertain and not the way the world normally lived. I remember my family members struggling to find a balance between their own desires and my expectations. I firmly believe that what I did is in the best interest of my family.

Eventually, my children grew up and moved on with their lives. I didn’t get to see them often, but I assume they lived their lives with freedom. My spouse continued to live with me, and my focus on him grew even stronger. I noticed he would push back now strongly and freely whenever I tried to set boundaries for him. He started spending more time outside and eventually left me.

I am alone now, reflecting on the past and the challenges I’ve faced. I’ve worked hard to steer my family in the right direction, but I’ve often been frustrated with my spouse’s unconventional ideas and feared they spoil the children. It is always a mixed bag of feelings towards my husband. I have consistently prioritized my perspective, assuming it to be the best for them, while neglecting the viewpoints of others that may not conform to societal expectations. I’m uncertain if they were better than my viewpoint. Whenever I attempted to understand their perspective, I would be overcome with fear about the potential negative impact on my family. Now, as I near the end of my life, I suddenly wonder how things would have been if I had seen life through their eyes. But it’s too late. I died lost in that thought.

Embrace the vastness of life, for it is through exploration and understanding that we find unity and peace.

In my next life, I am born as a curious man who wants to explore the world and understand the nature of life. I also have a typical woman as my spouse, which adds to my curiosity. I have delved into native wisdom and scientific research, which has exposed me to the vastness of life. This experience has empowered me to view life from a unique perspective, different from the conventional societal outlook.

I see nothing wrong with my spouse, as she sees things based on her own perspective. In my previous life, a woman with a similar mindset could steer the entire family in her terms because she either had power over others or her family accommodated her. The level of ignorance in society was high in the past, but with the emergence of the internet, everything has changed. I can’t cater to her inflexible mindset, but I’m doing this out of love. I know that as she grows, she will feel better and have a broader perspective. She may not understand my intentions and may curse me for being tough on her. She might keep getting sick and bedridden because of her old habits, but I won’t back down. It’s her choice to either continue with that behavior and suffer the consequences or start thinking differently. In order for her to fully experience the vast world outside, it is necessary for her to put in the effort to break free from those old habits, just like a chick struggles to break free from its shell.

Living without changing ourselves is stressful and goes against nature. Nature encourages us to look at reality from different perspectives so that we can embrace diversity, collaborate with others, and live in unity and peace.

In this life, my perspective is different, in fact almost opposite, but one thing is common: I am true to myself. I wonder what is good and what is bad. It looks like we just need to experience the reality from all the perspectives. Once we explore all perspectives of reality on planet Earth, we complete one cycle of samsara. This makes us eligible to be born into worlds with higher consciousness and new possibilities. After experiencing those possibilities, we move to another world, and this cycle continues until we discover our true self.